|
LoveOfLife21
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Leanne
Birthday: 9/15/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: music, reading, movies, studying today's culture, singing in the car... really loud, 80's music (my guilty pleasure), studying Scriptures and theology (very interesting stuff), and spending time with the coolest roommates ever!
Expertise: acting like a moron wherever I go...
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  BabyStarr4008
Member Since:
3/15/2004
|
|
| - BeautifulI've been noticing more beautiful skies in Pittsburgh lately. As most
of you know, I am not very fond of Pittsburgh (except for the
Steelers), so for me to admire the beauty of Pittsburgh is quite an
accomplishment. All this time that I have been stuck in Pittsburgh
begging God to get me out, He was teaching me to see Him everywhere in
every way possible. Yet still I struggle...
It's as if I'm stuck in some sort of BlackHole when I'm here. There is
this lifestyle and laziness that calls my name while I dream of better
things for my life. Why is it that Satan has a stronghold on my life
when I am here. Why am I prone to act a certain way, say certain
things, and be a certain person when I am here, yet anywhere else I
feel the freedom to be myself. I fall into this disturbing culture
that I despise all too much...
We live in a culture that has become so selfish and self-absorbing. I
see countless ads for sleep medication and herpes treatment. We have
lost any fear that has existed throughout time. We no longer fear a
mighty and powerful God. We slightly fear disease, but sleep well at
night with the mentality that it could never happen to me. We argue
that marijuana is safer than alcohol and claim that it just takes the
edge off. AIDS isn't a result of sleeping with too many people, but
it's a sad "life threatening disease that happens to innocent people".
We pump our bodies with nitrates, preservatives, and other carcinogens
and then question why cancer has spread so rapidly. We allow other
countries' economies to suffer so that we can all dress in the season's
latest fashions (which normally suck anyway... and the fashion trend
you just gave to goodwill two months ago finally comes back into
style...). We are killing God's creation to build more luxury
townhouses while nice homes stay on the market for months because it
needs a special touch from its next owner.
HOW DO WE LIVE LIKE THIS AND BE OKAY WITH IT?
How do I, a lover of the Creator of all things, live like this and be
okay with it? How do I sit in the comfort of my house, lying on the
couch all day on my day off and be content with my life? Something has
struck me... God has struck me. He has struck my with a new
perspective... a new lens in which to view the things going on around
me. And no, I will not just be satisfied with the fact that I am
having these thoughts. And no I will not be satisfied by giving some
money to some awesome ministry. I want to be the ministry. I want to
live a life that forsakes what it takes so that the living gospel of
Truth and Grace can be spread. I want to live a life that oozes the
mercy and love of God. I want to live a life that quietly radiates the
beauty that God has created within me.
I like when God gives me a new perspective... | | |
| Today just doesn't seem to be good... at all. It started off with an
unusual early wake-up. I'm the type of person that is sure to get
their 8 hours of sleep, but not today. I only got about 7, which is
unfortunate after the long day I had at work last night. Then my
laundry was taking forever to dry, causing me to leave late to meet
Erin for lunch. And as I'm driving down the road, something happens to
the car with the front axle... NOT GOOD! So I wait around for "Tommy"
the tow-truck driver for almost an hour. I finally make it up to
Houlihan's to meet Erin. Then we parted ways and all shopping attempts
for a new shirt failed miserably. I'm now at the Coffeehouse where I
forgot is extremely loud and busy with all the students after school.
SO my entire schedule was thrown off by 2 hours  But.....
I guess I do have something to look forward to. Tonight I am speaking
at the annual Girls' Night Out for the 8th grade girls at Moon. This
will be my 3rd year speaking on dating and relationships. I mean,
let's be honest, am I the best person to give them advice? Probably
not since my dating life is severly lacking. But do I have some sort
of wisdom to share with them? Hecks yes I do! So hopefully that'll
help me feel like today was a total day o'crap.
So I will
sit here, listen to The Rocket Summer, drink my non-fat Mocha Latte,
and try to relax for a few moments before I step back into craziness.
The Rocket summer has become one of my favorite artists to listen to on
a daily basis. It makes me happy, contemplative, and feeling relaxed.
I suggest you check him out.
Other news on the forefront:
I'm still waiting to hear any update from the church in Texas. After
they returned from their Mexico Mission trip, the youth pastor has
attempted to get ahold of my references... which all have insane
schedules. So imagine how that is going... it's not furthering too far
thus far. So hopefully I'll know early next week... THE SUSPENSE! I
know, friend... it's killing me too.
I've been on this search
of sorts lately. I've just been searching for God's voice. I've
sought it in the noise and in the stillness... and I still hear
nothing. How can I hear nothing? There's gotta be a roadblock...
something else consuming my mind. I think I just want to hear God say
certain things to me so He decided to keep quiet and let me realize
that's it's not about me and I cannot do it on my own. Man, is it
tough to give God control. But at least He'll show us when we're being
selfish. I think I'm being selfish right now.
God, give me
a servant's heart. I want to know You and love You more, so move the
roadblocks. Give me the strength to move them. I want to serve.
"Any minute now
My ship is coming in
I keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow
And feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down... on me
And you say Be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my life to begin"
- Waiting For My Life by Colin Hay | | |
| I
don't think I've ever lived in this type of "waiting" mentality
before. Who wants to wait?.... honestly! It is in no way fun or a
dramatic build-up. It just makes time feel like it's moving 10 times
slower than it really is and allows you to have all the time in the
world to sit and ponder what you are waiting for.
Right
now, I am awaiting the news of another interview with a church in
Austin, TX. I wouldn't mind so much if we weren't going on a month and
a half of interviews. Now, as each day goes by, I am tormented by the
thought of where I could be in a few months or if I'm really going to
be stuck at crappy Bob Evans even longer than I would've ever planned
for. All that has been going on in my mind for the past month and a
half is "What if I get it?... What if I don't?"
It's
been a good experience though. I'm sure God gets a little chuckle when
He sees me pacing back and forth asking Him to do something...
anything... with it all. But I don't think I've ever looked at Him and
trusted Him this much with my future before. I reached a point the
other day of simply loving God for His mystery. I've been in that
place before... I like being in that place. It takes the focus off me
and puts it back on His majesty. I love living through His love...
May
God be glorified through my words, actions, thoughts, responses, and
all that comes with each breath I take. God is just so awesome.
If you have any tips on patience, feel free to let me know about it! | | |
| Being a friend is harder for some than it is for others. Some people
have this natural ability to stay connected with people without seeing
them or speaking to them on a regular basis. They remember the little
details about who you are and the things you say. And they're the
people you know pray for you on a semi-regular basis even when you
haven't spoken to them in months or years...
I realized I 'm not a good friend. I am horrible at returning phone
calls or sending out an email. If people are not in my direct daily
contact, I suck at keeping track of where they are. It's not that the
people I've met and have bonded with aren't important to me. I think
about them all the time. I just hate talking on the phone. And I
don't like to sit and type long emails either. I am simply a
"face-to-face" person. I love sitting in a room with someone. I love
chatting over a meal. I love being able to turn my phone off because I
am spending time with the people I love. I am a "not so good friend".
So how do we correct this problem? How do we reach the point where I
don't want to chuck my phone out the window everytime someone calls?
How strategic should I be in calling someone or shooting them an email
to say, "I miss you, I love you, and I'm praying for you." Nothing is
holding me back... I should do it... I think I will...
It's time to be a good friend :) | | |
| Laziness has reached an all-time high...
I
realize it's been almost a month since my last post... and I wish I had
some clever, witty thing to say like, "I've been so busy traveling
around," or, "I've been working like a crazy woman and helping out with
so much stuff"... unfortunately that's not the case. The real reason
why I haven't written is because my desk chair got moved and I've been
too lazy to move it back into my room... how pathetic, I know.
The past
few weeks haven't held a whole lot of anything in my life. As much as
I would like to have some great, funny stories that would only happen
in my life. Work has not been the funnest lately. For how busy the
resturant was earlier in the fall, as we transition into winter, less
people are walking through the door into the wonderful land of Bob
Evans. Things are getting more awkward since I've become more involved
with hanging out with my co-workers. God has allowed for some awesome
conversations to happen, so I'm hoping that I am listening to Him and
stepping up to the plate whenever convo opportunities arise. I am
continuing to experience new things.... things I've forgotten about
because the church has blinded me to so much of today's culture... so I
must admit I like not working in the church right now.
The job
in FL seems to have not taken off at all, which is so unfortunate. It
really was my dream job.... it was something I thought would fit me so
perfectly... but I guess God has something else in store for me. I
will be filling out my application for this 2 year internship for a
camp out in CA.... it's actually where our middle school students would
go to summer camp when I worked out there. I would love to be so
cloase to my church out there again... to be with my students, be
around the Project over the summers, and see all my awesome friends out
there.
Please just pray for my sanity at work... pray that I continue to grow
out of this spiritual funk I keep falling in to, and pray that I
remember to hold out for God's best when it comes to relationships...
no compromise.
Goodnight and God bless | | |
|
